Sage Sarah: Easter

Heyo, it’s me! Today we’re going over the upcoming holiday. Easter! Personally, it’s one of my favorite holidays. I have one of those families who does the whole shebang! Easter egg hunts! Baskets! Family dinner! Oh My!


1. Easter Egg Hunts

Most people think these are only for little kids, but it really doesn’t matter how old you are. If someone hides candy-filled eggs for you to find, you find them! It’s basically the equivalent to someone hiding handing you a candy bar except more fun, it takes longer, and you have to wander through nature. I’m not really selling this well, am I? Just imagine you're the Steve Irwin of Snicker bars. Bonus points if you narrate your search with a botched Australian accent.


2. Easter Egg Baskets

I’m lucky, I get two baskets. One from my parents, aka my mom, because let’s be real my dad has no idea what’s in there, and then one from my Grandparents. While my mom has long since stopped hiding baskets for us older kids, my Grandparents still hide them. And do they hide them well. I’m talking “how the heck did you even get that up there” levels of hiding. It takes us grand-kids a decent chunk of time to find both the baskets and the eggs. The older you are, the harder to find.

My process, start from the bottom and work your way to the top. Check all possible lower hiding places, then mid-height, and then up high. If you still don’t find it, well looks like you’ll have to beg for a hint or just wander around until someone else finds it in the search for their own. Although family members are required to be little hobgoblins, so even if your cousins do come across your basket they’re not going to tell you. Instead, they stand off to the side shouting hot or cold and laughing at your failure.    


3. Other Random Easter Things I Want To Bring Up

Some of the usual foods that you can find at my families Easter Supper would be, ham, deviled eggs, and apple salad at most gatherings. Here’s to my Cousin Kelly who stole the last deviled egg from me a few years back. I have not forgotten the betrayal and I am fully prepared to fight you should it happen again.

Another controversial topic, what do you eat on Easter. Ham, beef, or chicken? Let me know. I’m curious okay, let me live! Also if any of you have those chicks that chirp when you set them on your hand, you can go away. Stay away from me with your annoying demon toy. Put that thing in a kids hand and you’ll be hearing robotic chirps until you somehow manage to steal it away and hide it away for a moment of peace.


That’s it! Another Holiday version of this little “advice” column. The advice in quotations because is this really advice? More like rants precariously disguised as advice. But hey, you guys seem to like them. I know, I look at the analytics. So ya can’t lie to me on this one. Anyway, have a very happy Easter! That is if you celebrate it, if not, I truly do hope you just have a great day in general.